Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
