The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
