How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
