therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
