Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
