I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He better not be in your backpack
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
