Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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