:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
There r osticjed everywhere
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
