it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
