got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
