She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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