will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
