Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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