I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
