Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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