ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
