I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
