Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
