In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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