Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
