We're facebook friends in real life
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Semen is not good for contacts.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
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