We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
