Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
