apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I look better un-naked...
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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