the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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