You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
