The panties match.
I'll be right there.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
