sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
