Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize
