So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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