I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
