shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
