It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
