first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
