So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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