Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm passing your future prison.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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