Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
