Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
