elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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