glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
