WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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