literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
