I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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