So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
