their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
