Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
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