Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
