i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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