why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I don't deserve a penis
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
