just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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