I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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