Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
