There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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